How I invited the President of Iran to New York
Who invited Ahmadinnerplate to the USA?
I did. I was poking around on the Intarnet one afternon and I saw a posting on alt.politics.persia addressed from mahmoud.ahmadinnerplate@yahoo.com which, frankly, I thought was quite insightful. I replied and offered to subscribe to his newsletter.
He told me about how he was heartbroken that the U.S.A. was so hostile toward his proud and inveterate nation, despite that our two peoples have so much low-level mundane stuff in common, like how both Iranian small girls and American small girls, generally speaking, love cute kittens and stuff. Half a world away, who'd'a guessed? yet it is indeed the case.
I told him that it was probably hard feelings over that hostages thing; the Republicans are angry because they basically hate all foreigners excepting Saudis, and Democrats are even angrier because that fancy-ass teen-age bullshit of theirs eventuated in inflicting that unforgiveable fathomless utter prick Reagan upon us, which ruined our poor nation from head to toe.
mahmoud.ahmadinnerplate@yahoo.com replied, and what about that fucking Shah, huh? Him and all his fag ass medals. Like as though we owe you an appy polly loggy, droogie.
I could kinda see his point and diplomatic inspiration struck; I said, Hey Mahmoud! When you explain things so plain and straight, everything of which we speak seems as an unmuddied lake, sir, I said, clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. Look, eh, why don't you come to New York and speak your piece? People'll hear and understand. Peace is good.
mahmoud.ahmadinnerplate@yahoo.com said, well what the Hell, I'll try it.
So he came, but damn, was I disillusioned! And I'll bet mahmoud.ahmadinnerplate@yahoo.com is pretty sore too. He isn't replying to my apologetic emails, anyway. Instead of the expected enlightened harmony all we got is this strained and mannerless warmongering. What's with these God damned news freaks anyway? I know teevee ad revenue shoots up up up whenever the hot war news is on, but for crying out loud.
I did. I was poking around on the Intarnet one afternon and I saw a posting on alt.politics.persia addressed from mahmoud.ahmadinnerplate@yahoo.com which, frankly, I thought was quite insightful. I replied and offered to subscribe to his newsletter.
He told me about how he was heartbroken that the U.S.A. was so hostile toward his proud and inveterate nation, despite that our two peoples have so much low-level mundane stuff in common, like how both Iranian small girls and American small girls, generally speaking, love cute kittens and stuff. Half a world away, who'd'a guessed? yet it is indeed the case.
I told him that it was probably hard feelings over that hostages thing; the Republicans are angry because they basically hate all foreigners excepting Saudis, and Democrats are even angrier because that fancy-ass teen-age bullshit of theirs eventuated in inflicting that unforgiveable fathomless utter prick Reagan upon us, which ruined our poor nation from head to toe.
mahmoud.ahmadinnerplate@yahoo.com replied, and what about that fucking Shah, huh? Him and all his fag ass medals. Like as though we owe you an appy polly loggy, droogie.
I could kinda see his point and diplomatic inspiration struck; I said, Hey Mahmoud! When you explain things so plain and straight, everything of which we speak seems as an unmuddied lake, sir, I said, clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. Look, eh, why don't you come to New York and speak your piece? People'll hear and understand. Peace is good.
mahmoud.ahmadinnerplate@yahoo.com said, well what the Hell, I'll try it.
So he came, but damn, was I disillusioned! And I'll bet mahmoud.ahmadinnerplate@yahoo.com is pretty sore too. He isn't replying to my apologetic emails, anyway. Instead of the expected enlightened harmony all we got is this strained and mannerless warmongering. What's with these God damned news freaks anyway? I know teevee ad revenue shoots up up up whenever the hot war news is on, but for crying out loud.
posted by johnny phenothiazine | 6:54 PM
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