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Saturday, September 06, 2008

wuppity

“they’re a member of an elitist-class individual that thinks that they’re uppity.”

We know from that Colbert interview that Rep. Westmoreland is no polished rhetor but even for a dim bulb that’s a pretty rockin’ string-o’-words. I mean just in terms of structure, content aside.

“they’re a member” - either “they’re members” or “she’s a member”. “They” is plural, “a member” is singular.

“a member of an elitist-class individual” - can’t make sense any way you parse it, either “an elitist-class individual” (or “individuals”) or “a member of an elitist-class” (or “members”)

Well there’s this: “The innocent young girl, during her first day as house-servant in Farnsworth Manor, was dusting the knick-knack shelf when Lord Farnsworth himself walked up behind her with his pants off and said, ‘Heh heh, my little working-class cupcake, here’s something I don’t suppose you’ve ever seen before, a member of an elitist-class individual.‘ Startled, she turned to see his ancient claw-like hands reaching out to grab her. His eyes were glassy, his mouth agape. She shrieked, threw the feather-duster at him, and fled.”

Surely some young house-maid in one of Senator McCain’s seven or eight or nine houses knows exactly what I’m talkin’ about.

“that thinks” - “who thinks” or “who think”

“that thinks they’re” - this ain’t rocket-science, Rep. W., get it straight: “that thinks” = just one, “they” = two or more.

“that thinks they’re uppity” - “who are uppity” That’s got to be what Rep. W. meant. Otherwise it's just crazy. Fact: no one, not even the uppitiest of the uppity, thinks inwardly that they themselves are “uppity.” No one anywhere has ever sung:

Hey look over here, I’m uppity
As uppity as can a man be
Ain’t another soul in all Saint Louie
Half as uppity as me

or

I feel uppity
Oh so uppity
I feel uppity and witty and gay
And I pity
Any candidate
Who isn’t me today

“Uppity” is a word one applies to others, never to oneself.

After you boil out surplus words (”members of an elitist-class individual” => “elitist”) and repair the grammar and logic errors, you end up with three words instead of twelve: “They’re uppity elitists.”

One last obscure Southron culture note. The unnecessary-to-speak phrase-mate to "uppity" is not "nigger", it is "nigra". Don't ask me why, that's just they way these weirdos always say it.

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